I am, give me a chance xD That’s why I haven’t turned anon off. No point.

John was unsure whether to laugh at, or dearly pity his flatmate. Sherlock could hold his drink - the man was on cocaine before John showed up - but his case had lead him to drinking far too much than he should have.

Sherlock had pulled himself out of bed, and after sniffing in a self-piteous manner, curled up into a ball of Sherlock-and-bedsheets on the couch. John knew the saying doctors made the worst patients, but he was now certain consulting detectives made even worse patients than doctors ever did.

John got up from his seat, and Sherlock grunted at the noise. Somewhere between there and the kitchen, he nearly fell over a stack of pans he was sure the detective was using for some kind of experiment.

“Bloody hell, Sherlock!” he hissed at the detective when something slimy splashed onto his trousers. He then decided that he couldn’t stroll around in the dark because his flatmate was suffering from dehydration from downing alcohol so fast the previous night. 

Throwing open the curtains and letting warm light splash onto the detective was almost as satisfying as the time Sherlock had asked John to punch him. But, somehow, the form of Sherlock curling up even tighter on the couch made John pity him all the more. 

When Sherlock unravelled himself, he noticed three things first - John was gone, his experiment was ruined, and the ex-army doctor had left a glass of water and paracetamol on the table next to him. 

Only because you’re in Belgium and I miss you, dear >:T

OK and maybe because Hungover!Sherlock is funny. 

And Google Chrome, paracetamol is a word.

There was a time, a little while ago, when London had a superhero. He called himself Captain Jerkass, and he roamed the streets looking for criminals. 

Only, he was useless at it. One foggy October, he chased a criminal for five long miles, only to find his apparent “Purse thief” was an old woman. 

He also persuaded the cat-binner to throw the cat in the bin because, in his mind, the cat was his arch nemisis. 

And in the end, the police got so fed up with Captain Jerkass they threw him in the Thames. The end.

There was once a taco named Esteban who loved scarves. He loved his scarf so much, he accidentally fed it to a llama. He was so upset, he went to cry to his beloved crush taco (Also a male taco, who hated him very much), who told him to buy a new one. 

Esteban went to buy the new scarf, only to find the vendor was an alpaca. He was so shocked by this he almost fainted, but managed to enquire politely about a new scarf. The alpaca said, “Sorry, I only have tuna ties. Tie. Singular. And the tuna tie is mine.”

The alpaca then ate Esteban. The end.